In Circles...

You knew it would happen. You can only leave the bowels of Starbucks for so long, before you get dragged back, lured by a biting addiction to caffeine, and the illusion of having “somewhere” to be. It might not be “where everyone knows your name”, but I’m relieved that the people who were here last winter are still here. It’s my office. My big, loud, unproductive office. But it’s the illusion – I am here in front of my laptop (how I’ve missed living through you!), dressed in some sort of semi-professional attire - looking important. Pondering why so many people are in Starbucks in the middle of the afternoon on a week day – doing the exact same thing I am doing. Full circle.

So before I return to the realm of formally blogging weight, life, etc – let me play the game of catch up. Have I really gone full circle? Not really. I haven’t blogged in months and months, except for the sparse details that I’ve periodically dropped. Things have changed. I’ve just upgraded to Windows 2007 – that’s change. I’m learning to use Publisher 2007. More change.

Seven months ago I headed back to work. It was supposed to be temporary – let’s face it, my job isn’t exactly the career accelerator that I’m looking for. But it paid the bills and I quickly became complacent. I set my own hours (they were often long) and worked with my dog (who better to work with?). Yes, I dealt with idiots, but that is any job. So typical to form, I decided to plug along, not particularly happy, but surviving. Along the way I picked up additional jobs – nothing truly exciting, but – money is money.

And then there is a point that you begin to realize that you are merely putting in time until you die. (I think that is what is formally known as a “rut”).

Yes, work has taken up the majority of my tangible time for the past several months. Luckily I was laid off this week. I am thrilled. Really. It opens up doors – maybe.

I took a new opportunity which has launched (errr….catapulted) me into the world of business and marketing. The income potential is good. Or bad. It could go either way. I could mean a lot of work for little gain. Or a lot of work for a great gain. Do you see what I am saying here? I am gambling. But – I get to talk to people, push a product, develop a marketing campaign – I wear dress clothes.

No I’m not particularly interested in this new job. But really – the dress clothes are exciting. It gives me an excuse to go my office (Starbucks). Sure it might be temporary….

What else can I say here?

Money: always a stressor – I should give lectures on how not to be like me… I could sit here and write an endless diatribe on the lack of morality exhibited by the credit card industry. I won’t.

Relationship: I’m still in one. Somewhere, somehow…

The Future: the future is the best part. Due to the job situation here (really, does anything ever change?) and lack of personal career growth, there may be a move in the near future. To the Capitol (at least that has where talks have been aimed for the past two months). There are education al opportunities for me, and career opportunities for him. Luckily we both lack follow-through….soooo…

Full circle, I suppose.

Somewhere along the way I was sidetracked. Not by anything exciting, life altering or earth shattering. Just life. Be patient though…the best is yet to come (when life stops interfering)

In the meantime, I will leave you the link to a video that I like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM-mfEMssy8

Cheers!

Winding Down into Monotony

There is this sudden realization that summer is on the verge of winding down. Not so long ago, I loved this time of year. September brought change, and some sort of new hope, rejuvenation, etc. There were new experiences to be had. Oh the perks to being a student.

As I watch August fading away, I realize that (again) this year, September is just September. I am tempted to return to school, even for just one class, just to relive some of the former glory. To be apart of that buzz and excitement of learning, and having a fresh text book to crack open – it’s hard to ignore the call. Unfortunately, returning to school for another year is merely an act of escapism, and I probably shouldn’t fall in to that trap. Really, it sets a fairly bad pattern.
Yet it is more than wanting to be apart of the change of September. I am bored. Incredibly so! I think my mind is actually stagnating. Next week brings me fear, merely because next week will be this week, again. And so will the week after. And the one after that. The monotony is overwhelming – so much so, that it doesn’t even make sense. It is necessary that I find a new job and soon – but I really hate starting new jobs; so that’s not really the change I am looking for. Maybe monotony equals adulthood….seriously, is that what it means to be an adult?
Last night, during one of those rare nights out, I had the chance to swap travel stories with a couple of girls who are full of wanderlust. It made me crave a life that I once had – sorry, that seems melodramatic, but adulthood leads to the realization that you can’t just drop everything and go backpacking across Southeast Asia (my visa card is also concurs). I still crave it though…the knowledge of firsthand experiences…learning cultural awareness…appreciating differences…and I miss it more and more.

My “boyfriend” (I have always shunned the use of that title, but I’m not sure what else to say…) has decided that we are moving to London, England together in October. I am the type of person who would move to London on a whim (wait, I did do that…). I am the type of person who would move BACK to London on a whim. Oh yes, I think about it. If he would go, I would too – everyday I look up London “stuff” on the internet. I am still addicted to the Premiership. I get a little sniffly every time I tune into BBC Radio. Today I actually spent time browsing through my iPod London Tube App – my “boyfriend” called me homesick. London isn’t my home, but I miss it…

So I won't bank on this whole London idea. I really do want to go back, but I won't go alone. While I will venture off without a safety net, he is a little more studious about responsibilities. Who needs money to travel?? Apparently he has a different philosophy, which might be a good thing (it avoids 3am calls to my Mother from unexplained random locales throughout the world; that means less worry). Though his studiousness makes things a little frustrating - where I would head to the travel agent on Monday and say "BOOK IT"...he needs to "weigh things out first". I live in the moment - which isn't always a good thing...

I think the moral of the story is that when September rolls around, I begin to get antsy. Then I make impulse decisions. Last year, I woke up on September 2 and decided that I would book a ticket to London…it appears that this could become an annual event…are there any other countries that I could get a visa for??? Let’s face it, returning to London will eventually become monotonous.

Thirty in the offing...

Yesterday I made the official leap into the last year of my twenties. Now in the grand scheme of life, 29 is not old. Neither is 30…but…there is something about 30 that scares the bejesus out of me. Sure, I have heard it over and over: sixty is the new fifty, fifty is the new forty, and so on. Unfortunately, I am not sure that thirty is the new twenty. Despite the shift in ageist societal expectations, thirty is one of those ages that there is still some sort of expectation. Or maybe it is the decade as a whole.

Let’s face it…
If you want a family – you need to consider doing that in your thirties
Marriage? Sure, a lot of my peers took the plunge in their twenties, but there is still this underlying belief that marriage should be in the offing by mid-thirty.
Career? It is fairly necessary to have a career chosen by your mid-thirties; because really…there is that retirement thing to consider…
Finances? Mutual funds, pension plans, portfolios…hmmmm….

Wait…retirement? I’m only thirty…I won’t retire for another 25-30 years!! Ya….but think of how quickly the first thirty years flew on past…

In terms of “living” I would have to say that there are still a lot of expectations placed on the big 3-0.

And where do I stack up on the thirty scale?

Not so good, I’m afraid.
Marriage? While something I’m not really looking to engage in (Carrie made the single life look so good on Sex and the City!) I would have to admit that there is really no marriageable potential in the offing.
Family? Hmmm…could getting my tubes tied justify the lack of potential there? Because really…I am not mothering material.
Career? Wow…well that’s a mess.
Finance?? Ouch…bigger mess…

Huh…that’s a lot of ground to cover in 12 months. But think about it – in terms of career, finances, family, etc – a heck of a lot happens over the course of ten years.

Luckily I know who reads this blog, as I put this into written confession…
My present “love interest” (and I really do use that term loosely)…well…at the end of the day I think I am only dating him because he looks good on paper. Huh? He is educated, aiming to climb the ladder – a PROFESSIONAL. He’s not scatter-brained Leanne. He is my absolute opposite. Oh sure, he wants to travel and experience, blah blah blah – but only once the savings account is padded, and the stock market has rebounded…hmmmm…

Let me clear this up: I have no qualms about savings accounts, mutual funds, etc. Or responsibility. I love responsibility.
So I am dating this guy because it is the grown-up thing to do. Maybe if I am lucky it will move to marriage – because I am at that age.

I can’t even stand to ask him about his job. Why? Because it makes me want to drink copious quantities of alcohol.

He’ll ask me “Do I bore you?”
“No! Of course not!”…
Yes, yes, yes….
*Never ask questions to which there are no good answers…

Don’t get me wrong…he is a nice guy. Really. I am just bored by the prospects of entering a life in which I have a suburban home with a white picket fence, cocker spaniel (my idea of a family dog), 2 kids, etc. But he really is nice. Really.


I should be more concerned about the savings account. But when life is sooooo short, I could care less if I die a millionaire.

If I am not pursuing marriage, financial stability, career advancement, and a decent pension fund, what do I want?
Strictly to live.

And what will I do with the last year of my twenties? Find me again, because in the process of dating, and pursuing a career I hated, and in convincing myself that I was happy - I lost me.

More importantly I will work on the goal that I have had for the past 6 years – to visit the six most populous continents before I turn thirty.
For bragging rights?
No.
Because travel is my passion and my love. Experience.
Will I make it?
Not likely – I have three continents so far; but I have enough Aeroplan Miles to go to South America…and an unused plane ticket that could get me to Africa and back. And if push came to shove – I could always celebrate my thirtieth on a beach in Australia. Not likely....but a great idea. Money is a substantial issue, and seeing has how I do not actively pursue a “career” , I have to be content with long durations between trips. It is just nice to have goals.


And what about the rest of it?
I will work towards finishing my weight loss goal, which really has no impact on my larger life; it is strictly vanity.
Hopefully I will scrape together the money to finally accept the University of London. Don’t get me wrong; I do have career aspirations.
And maybe I wll finally take the leap towards the program that I have looked at for years, but have never applied…

And hopefully by thirty I will realize that sitting outside under the beating sun (without sun screen) results in sunburn.
And maybe I will learn to not: drink on an empty stomach AND to not drink to the point of a hangover.


But for now…I am 29, and I plan on enjoying the last year of my twenties. Even if it doesn’t look good on paper!

Food for thought

As I am too busy (and too lazy) to post anything orginal, I am sharing an article that I found in CNN. Should the size of seats be increased, or is that just justifying a growing problem that should be dealt with?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/06/26/obese.passengers.airlines/index.html