London Absolutely Exhausted

I would like to say that I successfully saw every hour last night. Wait..no…I did have a brief moment of sleep between 12:15 and about 12:45, during which I recall having a rather in depth conversation with a friend back home. Yes, the conversation was an illusion, and was quite odd (if I recall correctly, it was a full conversation regarding Jeremy Shockey of the New Orleans Saints). I did momentarily fall asleep again – except that the hotel was LOUD last night. As soon as I started to doze off there would be a crash, a siren, or any other sundry of things that kept me up. Sleep was just not happening for me. It’s time to move.

I officially began my day at 5:30am – wasn’t sure what time registration was, and wanted to make sure that I made my train. After a brief, groggy sojourn to Surrey, I arrived at the school. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Apparently I had beat most the of the staff by about an hour. I told one of the teachers what time I had arrived at – she started to laugh…
“Why did you arrive so early???”
“My agency didn’t tell me what time school started.”
More laughter.
“So would I be safe to assume that I can take a later train in the future???”
More laughter.
“Ummm…ya. And get a coffee when you get here.”

In actuality, taking a later train only guarantees me about an addition half hour to forty-five minutes of sleep, but it’s a start right? Oh wait…and that is only if I can actually get to sleep.

So that was the prologue. My initial assignment required me to teach health; truthfully I taught a little bit of everything. Here is a synopsis of my day:

Periods 1 & 2: Pregnancy & Child Safety --> probably not subjects that are my ideal. Luckily I have taken enough Sex. Ed to adequately get me through conception and birthing. I can say vagina in the classroom without blushing. I can talk about HIV and herpes without faltering. Here is a sample of my conversations:

“Why do you think it is important for a woman to have a blood test for HIV?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well do you think it is possible to give HIV to a fetus?”
“No. A baby can’t get an STD.”
“Don’t ever have sex. Ever.”

“Can you think of any other STDs that can be passed to a fetus?”
“No. They can’t be passed.”
“What about herpes? Chlymydia?”
“Nope. They can’t be passed.”
“What about when then baby rips through the birth canal?”
“Nope.”
“Huh. Don’t have children.”

Student to Leanne:
“Did you see that documentary where the baby comes through the birth canal and rips the woman open from here (*picture a rather inappropriate drawing*) to here?”
“No….but using contraception would have prevented that.”


Period 3: Home Economics (AKA Cooking)-->In terms of subjects I should not teach, I would like to add Home Ec. to my list.
“Miss, miss…does this look normal?” (keep in mind, I had just come from childbirth).
“Umm…that depends…what is it supposed to be?”
“An apple pie.”
“huh…then no.”

“Miss, miss…I’m baking a fruit pie. Do I have to cook the fruit first?”
“Cook the fruit?”
“Ya…I don’t know how to cook fruit.”
“Me neither. Don’t cook it, throw it in the shell and see what happens.”

“Miss! My dough is dry.”
“Yes it is.”
“What do I do?”
“Ask someone else.”

Period 4: Phys. Ed. --> Initially I was supposed to teach dance. I got away with having the students write journal entries. Crisis averted.

Period 5: French à Je suis Canadienne. Je parle Francais tres mauvais. Luckily I could get through Grade 10 French. When in doubt, I consulted a dictionary. I hope I never end up teaching German.

By the end of the day I was fully exhausted, and hungry enough that I could eat anything in sight. Luckily I don’t have the money to eat what I want! Coming out of the school I seriously doubted my want to continue, and doubted whether or not I could do this on a daily basis. Now, after a Starbucks coffee, I think I could at least go a second day. Luckily I won’t know until Wednesday. Leanne needs sleep and more perspective. Or at least a stiff drink.