I'll Get There Yet

Nearly a month into Southern Ontario, and amidst daily promises that “I’m going home” I have yet to get back into my car and start driving.
I don’t wanna go…maybe I wanna go…errrr…tomorrow…
Have you ever woken up, not sure who you are, where you are, realize that something has to change, but not sure what? You realize you aren’t happy, but you don’t know why – you can’t pinpoint that exact “thing” that is driving you to despair.
Rejection letters are becoming an abundantly regular occurrence. They strike the ego. My most recent rejection was bittersweet; my education was the problem…they wanted someone with a one or two year college diploma, as opposed to someone with eight years of university education. I am not naïve enough to believe that university is better than college. In fact, I think a college education is far better for practical applications and employability.

Unfortunately I went to university.

Do I want to go to college? No.

Why? Because I spent a long time kicking my butt in university, at considerable time and expense, and going back to college seems like defeat. I’m not ready to admit defeat.

As I attempt to adapt to this whole move (and let’s face it – if history has shown me anything, I tend to hit considerable homesickness around week five), I find myself pondering the future more and more. I didn’t think it would be easier if I left Thunder Bay – really I didn’t…but I did think it would mean something…if only I knew what…

It has taken me nearly the entire four weeks to reacquire my stride. Living in a new home has meant the absolute dissolution of healthy lifestyle habits.....

“Pass the donut, chug the beer *cough cough* I’m out of smokes…”

Oops.

It has been nearly a year since I was accepted into the London School of Economics for studies in International Relations. For six months, I held my breath as I fought for funding through the Ontario student loan program. Continued rejection was based on the fact that the London School of Economics’ External System (distance education) was not recognized as a legitimate school by Ontario standards. The LSE, one of the world’s prestigious schools, was not recognized by ONTARIO standards of education.

And here's why:
The LSE’s distance education office has a separate address than the LSE’s on-campus studies office, and the Ontario student loan program did not like that. Apparently Russell Square is inferior. Sneaky LSE!

Disheartened, I quit my fight with OSAP, but held firm to the idea that somehow I would find the funding to be able to take this program. Even if I could only take a course a year, I would somehow get there. The LSE also offers a summer school program, featuring on-campus special topics for six weeks each summer. And somehow I would get there (2010s topics are making me drool, and I’m desperate to return to London)

Last night, I decided to check the OSAP website to see if any changes had been made to their previous policies. And there it was…under the recognized institutions (with recognized addresses)…a glimmer of hope renewed, and a new fight begins…