Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Step by Step Necessity

Ahh technology, how you failed me so! I’ve lost my best friend (my laptop) and potentially all of the information it contained. Being wonderfully complacent (it won’t happen to me!) and lacking motivation I failed to back up my most important documents, pictures, etc. Stupid me – I should have known better.

My week has been filled with planning and letting go. Maybe part of planning is the ability to let go – I had forgotten how easily I can disassociate myself with the unseen – if I can’t see it, it never existed. What a wonderful defense mechanism.

Stage one of this little endeavor has involved ripping apart my life – literally. Going through all of my possessions and throwing out. True to my background in archaeology, I am a pack rat; unfortunately pack ratting is a packing nightmare. My goal is that if the day should ever arrive that I want to leave here, I can just open my drawers and easily transfer all of the items into boxes. The challenge has been in turning up my nose to previously cherished items. Oh yes, and to maintain my motivation along the way.

One moment – I’m listening to a high school student complain about teachers – “he wants his students to fail. He expects me to be on time.” Oh my goodness! On time??!?! What a concept! Little a**holes here don’t know how lucky they have it. They would perish in an English school. I also love that comment “He wants his students to fail.” Yes, because that is how teachers get their kicks. Especially the additional paperwork that failing a student creates. WOOT WOOT…

Stage two – is to purposely put myself into employment peril. I have been at one of my jobs for nearly eleven years (January 15, 2010 = eleven…eeks…). Another one of my wonderful jobs *sarcasm* is an astonishing bust. Apparently I am committed to this job for another seven months. I am giving my notice to two of my bosses. Risky…a little…but I need to upheave my stability. Even so, I still have my regular fulltime job to look forward to in April…hmmm...

Stage three is the escape plan. I can move (I’ve been told – apparently my Mother is in the “Failure to Launch” mode; good movie), but I need the back up plan. Option one – try it for six months and move back here for the summer (if I must). Option two – move and keep moving until I find the life I want. Option two makes it necessary to keep downsizing my possession load.

It’s the reality that makes this a problem. There is no other place in Ontario (that I would move to) offering jobs that are any better than the ones I can get here. So the conundrum – move to a place I like, and work in a job I dislike…or stay in place I dislike, and do a job I dislike because it is easier.

Habit always wins out, doesn’t it?

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