London on a Thursday

Oh thank goodness, Friday is in sight. I realize the whole goal about living one day at a time, but Thursday hits, and I’m more than willing to see things on a two-day scale. Last night I actually got some sleep – amidst the fireworks. Actually, by the time 9:30 rolled around, I was absolutely exhausted. The only downfall to getting sleep? Probably won’t sleep tonight . Not really the most positive outlook, but that is reality.

Today saw me back at Carshalton. It was a rough day – I had the same group of girls for two periods, and they were….challenging…Follow this with a double period of cooking, and it was a long day. Here is my day in a nutshell:

Registration:
I don’t usually talk about registration. Today I will, as it was particularly bad. There was an assembly that we were ten minutes late for. And why were we late? I couldn’t get the girls to settle.
“But Miss, we are late. There is no point in going now.”
“Oh we are going to assembly.”
“But Miss, we are late.”
“And you can explain to the Head why you are late.” (that’s called, being a b*tch).
*this was followed by disgruntled sighs and angry glares – which was fine; anyone who p*sses me off first thing in the morning, generally needs to watch out.

Child Birth & Safety
We will call this “Period of Hell Part One”. Every class has these students – unfortunately there were girls in this class who, if tempted, could potentially beat me up. I’m sure they wouldn’t – but I wasn’t taking my chances.

“Oh my goodness! Look at the picture on page 57! Ouch!!”
“The baby comes out of there…oh my god!”
Leanne: “Oh yeah….its fairly common for the baby to rip you open. You get stitches afterwards, then it is all good.” (don’t say I don’t preach contraception!)
“My mom told me that when I was born that I ripped her open to her bum hole.”
Great. They can traumatize me more than I can traumatize them.

And some examples of forethought:

“I plan on planning my pregnancies. I will be pregnant in the summer and the baby will arrive in November.”

“I only plan on being pregnant a couple of times.”

“ will be the father of my children” (*does he know that?)

Child Birth & Safety Two
I had a group of girls who wanted to discuss my preferences in music, my prediction for the winner of X Factor and hair breakage. Somewhere in there was child birth and safety. I liked this though:

“Miss, were you happy with Obama winning?”
“Yes, I suppose I was” (might as well be honest)
“I think that the UK and USA should form one government so that we can all get along better.”
“Hmm…I think the US already kicked out the UK. They might not like joining the UK again.”
“No Miss! Really?!?!?!”
“Pretty sure.”
“Well the US is too patriotic anyway.”
This led to a discussion of the war in Iraq. This is a topic that I really don’t want to discuss with students, due to my strong opinions. Naturally, we then ended up discussing Canada.

“You do realize that Canada is still technically apart of the UK?”
“Really, Miss??!?!? You have the same Queen?”
“Last I checked.”
“Do you pledge allegiance to her?”
“Never personally, but they do in Parliament.”
“Is it true that Canadians like the Queen more than Brits do?”
*I couldn’t answer this.

Home Economics – double period.
Leanne shouldn’t cook. Ever.
Leanne shouldn’t teach others to cook. Ever.

Child Birth & Safety (Period of Hell Part Two)
There were problems. I had to fill out paperwork. Fill in the blanks.


And now it’s back to Starbucks to recuperate. Again…thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.

London...remember remember...

What a day, what a day. It started at midnight, which technically means that yesterday never ended. And really, it didn’t. Due to the thin walls in my hotel, the rather LOUD couple in the room next to me, kept me up for hours (Talking – get your mind out of the gutter!). I tried knocking on the wall to shut them up – they didn’t get the message. I had my redemption though – I went out of my way to be noisy at 6am when my alarm went off. I’m not usually that much of a wench, but today, I felt I deserved it.

I was back teaching in Carshalton – can I say that I dreaded it? Between the exhaustion and never ending financial stress I’m presently under, teaching is the furthest thing from my mind. It was so tempting to climb back into bed and forget today. I didn’t though.

My day was supposed to begin by teaching textiles. The supervisor quickly realized that having someone who couldn’t sew, teach textiles, would likely not be a good idea. Truthfully I didn’t even know what textile class would entail. So…I was switched to history. History I understand. Given the monumental political outcome of yesterday’s election, I was also able to discuss history in the making. Here is my day:

History - Periods One & Two: The Roman Empire & British History:

“Miss, miss…is Barack Obama the same person as Obama?”
I was a bit confused because the room was decorated with posters supporting Obama.

“Miss, why did the Americans put their election at the same time as a holiday that is so important to the UK?”
“What do you mean? It’s Wednesday?”
“Remember, remember the fifth of November.”
“Ok??”
“Its Bonfire Day.”
“That can’t be good.” (all I could picture was the school alit with fire)
“It celebrates this time, when a guy decided to blow up the Parliament buildings. Tonight there will be a ton of fireworks and bonfires.”
“He tried to blow up Parliament? And you celebrate this?”
“Yes.”
*mental note: explains a great deal to me about the Brits.

“Miss, the Romans went to war with the Italians and killed them.”

“The similarity between early Britain and present day Britain is cheese. They had cheese then, and they have cheese now.”
“Good to know.”


Technology – Double Period
This was the equivalent of a Canadian shop class; Home Ec. & Shop are not my subjects by any stretch. Luckily the students had some pre-assigned work, but were more concerned about my accent.

“Miss, what do you call this?” – points to a garbage can
“A bin.”
*student looks disappointed; ok I will humour her…
“A garbage can.”
*student looks more satisfied

“Miss what do you call a jumper?”
“Miss, what do you call a rubber?”
“Miss what do you call a coloured pencil?”
“Miss what do you call a ruler?”
*Another student interjects, much to my relief:
“Stop it, she can speak English.”

“Miss, I heard that Canadian girls like British boys because of their accents. Is it true?”
“I don’t really know.”
“But do you like British boys because of their accents?”
I just walked away from this one. For the record, I have preference for Irish accents.

“Miss, do you know Ms. Smith? She lives in Canada.”
“Talked to her yesterday”

“Miss my aunt lives in Canada. Do you know her?”
“Ya, we had dinner right before I left for England.”


Childbirth & Child Safety
Here we go again…Leanne in childbirth and child safety class. Luckily there was a previously assigned project. Not that the students were interested in doing the project. Truthfully I understand – I always preferred to do my schoolwork at home, and spend class pursuing conversation. Maybe this makes me a moderately bad teacher.


So at the end of the day I have staggered back to my local Starbucks, unsure what tomorrow will bring. For the record – Starbucks is officially celebrating Christmas.

London Absolutely Exhausted

I would like to say that I successfully saw every hour last night. Wait..no…I did have a brief moment of sleep between 12:15 and about 12:45, during which I recall having a rather in depth conversation with a friend back home. Yes, the conversation was an illusion, and was quite odd (if I recall correctly, it was a full conversation regarding Jeremy Shockey of the New Orleans Saints). I did momentarily fall asleep again – except that the hotel was LOUD last night. As soon as I started to doze off there would be a crash, a siren, or any other sundry of things that kept me up. Sleep was just not happening for me. It’s time to move.

I officially began my day at 5:30am – wasn’t sure what time registration was, and wanted to make sure that I made my train. After a brief, groggy sojourn to Surrey, I arrived at the school. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Apparently I had beat most the of the staff by about an hour. I told one of the teachers what time I had arrived at – she started to laugh…
“Why did you arrive so early???”
“My agency didn’t tell me what time school started.”
More laughter.
“So would I be safe to assume that I can take a later train in the future???”
More laughter.
“Ummm…ya. And get a coffee when you get here.”

In actuality, taking a later train only guarantees me about an addition half hour to forty-five minutes of sleep, but it’s a start right? Oh wait…and that is only if I can actually get to sleep.

So that was the prologue. My initial assignment required me to teach health; truthfully I taught a little bit of everything. Here is a synopsis of my day:

Periods 1 & 2: Pregnancy & Child Safety --> probably not subjects that are my ideal. Luckily I have taken enough Sex. Ed to adequately get me through conception and birthing. I can say vagina in the classroom without blushing. I can talk about HIV and herpes without faltering. Here is a sample of my conversations:

“Why do you think it is important for a woman to have a blood test for HIV?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well do you think it is possible to give HIV to a fetus?”
“No. A baby can’t get an STD.”
“Don’t ever have sex. Ever.”

“Can you think of any other STDs that can be passed to a fetus?”
“No. They can’t be passed.”
“What about herpes? Chlymydia?”
“Nope. They can’t be passed.”
“What about when then baby rips through the birth canal?”
“Nope.”
“Huh. Don’t have children.”

Student to Leanne:
“Did you see that documentary where the baby comes through the birth canal and rips the woman open from here (*picture a rather inappropriate drawing*) to here?”
“No….but using contraception would have prevented that.”


Period 3: Home Economics (AKA Cooking)-->In terms of subjects I should not teach, I would like to add Home Ec. to my list.
“Miss, miss…does this look normal?” (keep in mind, I had just come from childbirth).
“Umm…that depends…what is it supposed to be?”
“An apple pie.”
“huh…then no.”

“Miss, miss…I’m baking a fruit pie. Do I have to cook the fruit first?”
“Cook the fruit?”
“Ya…I don’t know how to cook fruit.”
“Me neither. Don’t cook it, throw it in the shell and see what happens.”

“Miss! My dough is dry.”
“Yes it is.”
“What do I do?”
“Ask someone else.”

Period 4: Phys. Ed. --> Initially I was supposed to teach dance. I got away with having the students write journal entries. Crisis averted.

Period 5: French à Je suis Canadienne. Je parle Francais tres mauvais. Luckily I could get through Grade 10 French. When in doubt, I consulted a dictionary. I hope I never end up teaching German.

By the end of the day I was fully exhausted, and hungry enough that I could eat anything in sight. Luckily I don’t have the money to eat what I want! Coming out of the school I seriously doubted my want to continue, and doubted whether or not I could do this on a daily basis. Now, after a Starbucks coffee, I think I could at least go a second day. Luckily I won’t know until Wednesday. Leanne needs sleep and more perspective. Or at least a stiff drink.

London Unscripted

Today is one of those days that just won’t end. It has been a long and tiring – and altogether emotionally draining. I had a terrible day in the classroom. Wait…no…I didn’t…I was informed that I had a terrible day in the classroom. I am at a loss to understand this world that I have entered. Never have I seen what I am being exposed to in London. Do I feel any moderate levels of support? Not really. The only people who are supporting me are the people furthest removed from the situation – my mother and my friends (including a poor guy in Leeds who doesn’t deserve my daily breakdowns).

I keep asking myself – wouldn’t it just be easiest to pack it in and go home? God yes, it really would. That’s a given. But what do I go home to? A minimum wage job that won’t pay my bills? Two minimum wage jobs that won’t pay? How about three part-time minimum wage jobs that don’t pay? I don’t think I have a choice – I need to make this work, or die trying. My hometown has just lost another 300 jobs – what the hell am I going to do there?

Recently I told my friend – we don’t need to know the end result, we just need to deal with the present. I’m the one who isn’t dealing with the present though. I keep looking at this whole situation from the long term – keep thinking that I can’t do this for 3, 6, 12 months. I’m not seeing this from a daily perspective. I can fairly easily get home - its not impossible. Home is a mere plane ride away and therefore not insurmountable. I need to deal with this.

I have spent my afternoon reading blogs written by other Canadian teachers struggling in London. I’m not alone. These teachers have had objects thrown at them in the classroom (Oh what I have to look forward to!). I have read news articles on the record number of British teachers leaving the profession because it is too difficult to be a teacher in England. I am not alone then. I think the problem is, is that I am not used to outright failure. And today that is how I feel – like a failure. I am failing myself, the people close to me, my agency – everyone. It would just be so easy to give up right now.

I don’t understand it though. In a country that prides itself on its “stiff upper lip” and “high standards of behaviour” (buzz terms that you will hear repeatedly), I am at a loss to understand why things are the way they are. It makes virtually no sense to me. I have heard recruiters compare teaching in London to teaching in Toronto. I have friends who teach in Toronto – I have never heard the stories that I hear out of London. Is this an example of the deviousness of recruiters? I don’t know. I’m at such a loss. I trained for 8 years in Anthropology – I’ve tried to look at this from a cultural perspective. I realize that culture plays a huge part of this. I’m still too new to understand it though. Maybe I am just better off in anthropology or archaeology. I want to make this work though. How can I do that? That brings me to tomorrow…