Today saw me back at Carshalton. It was a rough day – I had the same group of girls for two periods, and they were….challenging…Follow this with a double period of cooking, and it was a long day. Here is my day in a nutshell:
I don’t usually talk about registration. Today I will, as it was particularly bad. There was an assembly that we were ten minutes late for. And why were we late? I couldn’t get the girls to settle.
“But Miss, we are late. There is no point in going now.”
“Oh we are going to assembly.”
“But Miss, we are late.”
“And you can explain to the Head why you are late.” (that’s called, being a b*tch).
*this was followed by disgruntled sighs and angry glares – which was fine; anyone who p*sses me off first thing in the morning, generally needs to watch out.
Child Birth & Safety
We will call this “Period of Hell Part One”. Every class has these students – unfortunately there were girls in this class who, if tempted, could potentially beat me up. I’m sure they wouldn’t – but I wasn’t taking my chances.
“Oh my goodness! Look at the picture on page 57! Ouch!!”
“The baby comes out of there…oh my god!”
Leanne: “Oh yeah….its fairly common for the baby to rip you open. You get stitches afterwards, then it is all good.” (don’t say I don’t preach contraception!)
“My mom told me that when I was born that I ripped her open to her bum hole.”
Great. They can traumatize me more than I can traumatize them.
And some examples of forethought:
“I plan on planning my pregnancies. I will be pregnant in the summer and the baby will arrive in November.”
“I only plan on being pregnant a couple of times.”
Child Birth & Safety Two
I had a group of girls who wanted to discuss my preferences in music, my prediction for the winner of X Factor and hair breakage. Somewhere in there was child birth and safety. I liked this though:
“Miss, were you happy with Obama winning?”
“Yes, I suppose I was” (might as well be honest)
“I think that the UK and USA should form one government so that we can all get along better.”
“Hmm…I think the US already kicked out the UK. They might not like joining the UK again.”
“No Miss! Really?!?!?!”
“Well the US is too patriotic anyway.”
This led to a discussion of the war in Iraq. This is a topic that I really don’t want to discuss with students, due to my strong opinions. Naturally, we then ended up discussing Canada.
“You do realize that Canada is still technically apart of the UK?”
“Really, Miss??!?!? You have the same Queen?”
“Last I checked.”
“Do you pledge allegiance to her?”
“Never personally, but they do in Parliament.”
“Is it true that Canadians like the Queen more than Brits do?”
*I couldn’t answer this.
Home Economics – double period.
Leanne shouldn’t cook. Ever.
Leanne shouldn’t teach others to cook. Ever.
Child Birth & Safety (Period of Hell Part Two)
There were problems. I had to fill out paperwork. Fill in the blanks.
And now it’s back to Starbucks to recuperate. Again…thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.