Today’s profundity is brought to me by Bernie Brillstein… “In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life.” Thanks again Starbucks. I’m learning to live $1.30 at a time. Luckily my days at Starbucks are numbered – school starts next week. Regardless of my intense sarcasm and moderate skepticism, Mr. Brillstein is right – and I can readily acknowledge that. In reality, he kind of sums up what I was trying to say when things fell apart in Banbury – stability is key. As for love…regardless of what I might think of love and commitment, I suppose at the heart of it all…deep down…maybe…love is what most individuals in our society pursue and crave.
Let me just say this though – I do not believe that humans are naturally monogamous. I think that humans want to believe that they can be monogamous, but I do not fully believe that we have been biologically hardwired for this sort of thing. With everything else, there is a certain segment of the population for which monogamy does work – but for a vast majority of individuals, I think they struggle with monogamy – it is a conscious decision, not a natural path. Periodically one or both members of the partnership start to give into outward temptations and lustful desires. Usually it does not escalate beyond careful fantasy, but then sometimes…well…it goes beyond the fantasy. The saving grace, as luck would have it, is that humans are naturally lazy. This favours monogamy. There comes a point for most people, that pursuing a “mate” (so to speak) becomes an arduous task and it is just easier to settle. Possible motivation for this could revolve around the eventual boredom of having to engage in the excessive grooming and hygiene associated with mate-perusal. Why do you think that so many people are content to live a miserable existence with an ill-chosen mate? Because it is easier than starting from scratch. Disagree with me if you want, but take a long hard look at it. Individuals are not monogamous…society is. And that is the essence of monogamy.
Ahh hell…let’s stick with monogamy today. There is no particular reason for this topic…I just enjoy studying humans interacting with one another, and ritualistic mating habits are one of those topics that I cannot get enough of. It pacifies the social scientist in me – and let’s face it – I’ve taken classes in the Psychology of Sex, Anthropology of Sex, and Philosophy of….ya…you got it….Sex. Naturally I have developed an interest in what makes humans tick when it comes to relationships (real and delusional) and sexual practices thereafter associated. Perhaps my interests lay in the fact that I have absolutely no natural desire for long term commitment – because I don’t believe that humans are monogamous (notice the circular fashion with which I right?!!)
My newest interest is the human struggle with monogamy and how it related to the internet. I’m serious! I find the internet a perplexing conundrum when it comes to the justification of monogamy. If you have spent anytime in chat-rooms or in virtual reality environments such as Second Life, you instantly become aware of the number of married individuals looking for cyber…hook-ups (we’ll call it Assisted Masturbation). Yes you read it right. I’m not asking if you engage in it. But here is the simple fact…there are an alarming number of people looking for extramarital fantasies via the internet. What do I find interesting about this? Ok…for starters…is it cheating? I mean really? Most people would say no. I beg to differ. I’m not here to teach morality – but – if your spouse does not know that you are pursuing sexual experiences such as assisted masturbation, with another living, breathing individual…then what exactly is it? Can it be justified to a spouse? Not likely. If I were married, and I came home to find my husband stroking off in front of the computer with some honey 2000 miles away…yes I would be a little bit…irritated. Why? The emotional essence of cheating. Staring at picture in Penthouse is one thing – engaging another individual in your ritualistic foreplay – well that is a totally different story. Yet numerous individuals do this, and justify it. These individuals still consider themselves to be monogamous. Maybe it boils down to the days of “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” (you know who!) Potentially the greatest impact that Bill Clinton had on our present-day society is the moral dilemma regarding what actually constitutes as sexual relations and what constitutes an extramarital affair. Regardless, the internet has ensured that couples can live out their extramarital fantasies, and newer virtual realities are taking it the next level. Spend a night on Second Life and you will understand.
But alas, this is all I can say on the topic. My time is up and it has taken me a week to finish this posting. I am presently sitting in a class on Modernist literature, completely lost, wondering what sort of natural substances I must inhale to be capable of thinking like a modernist and not a social scientist. All I know is that my head hurts and I’m sober. Time to fix that J