Saturday, 11 April 2009

Back to the moments of stagnation

There is nothing worse than sitting in front of a computer screen, with absolutely nothing going through your head. I’ve sat here, for nearly 40 minutes, clueless, staring at the screen, growing increasingly irritated. An empty place, and yet a group of people had to sit literally on top of me, and are talking about the most irritatingly mundane things possible. I have nothing against mindless conversation – but there are many other tables to choose from; why bother me? Now throw in the two musicians who have taken up residence at the table across from me. Why do “indie” artists (is that what they are?) all have to sing the same songs? Be original, and get rid of the guitar.

I am in such a rut right now. I stay home, and I go stir crazy. I literally pace back and forth, and have creeping anxiety. I go out and I’m irritated by people. So much time is spent lost in contemplation. Things never really change, do they?

One year ago today, I arrived in Banbury, England. Why didn’t I just stay?
Ok, Banbury and I wouldn’t have had a kosher existence, but somehow I would be further ahead. Maybe I would have had a direction. So much has happened in the last year in terms of economic breakdown, employment, etc. Yes, maybe I should have stayed.
Alright, I’m beating a dead horse here. I got nothing tonight, other than a rising sense of irritation.

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